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Are You Dealing with A Destructive Confidant?

March 8th, 2010 • By: Bea Fields • Leadership Articles

Michael Jackson, Heath Ledger, Anna Nicole Smith, Marilyn Monroe, Judy Garland.

I am sure by now that you all see the repeating patterns in the lives of these men and women.  Each died as a result of prescription drug use, and this all leads to the ever pressing question of “Who was enabling the behavior to an extreme so great that the end result was death?”

I want to say first that the responsibility does rest with Jackson, Ledger, Smith, Monroe and Garland.  If you are unwilling to do the work to stop an addiction, then of course, you are ultimately responsible.

But, as we all know, when an addiction is present, there are also enablers.  In the case of these celebrities, there were multiple doctors involved, and in the case of Jackson, it seems to me that a doctor (or doctors) were not only enabling but were actually living in the home with him.  I am sitting here today scratching my head thinking “If AEG reported that Jackson was in such great health, why in the world did he need a live in doctor?…AND…why did it take 3 days for the authorities to find Dr.Murray?”

Police and federal agents Wednesday raided  offices of Michael Jackson’s personal doctor Conrad Murray, in a search for medical records they believed would constitute evidence of manslaughter, so now the case is going to break wide open, and my hunch is that since Ledger and Smith died so recently, there will be a full out investigation of these celebrity doctors who are peddling prescription drugs.

This whole situation has just brought to my mind that this situation happens everywhere…not necessarily with prescription drugs but through what I call “destructive confidants”…people who exhibit behaviors which protect, shield and “enable” leaders and can cause destruction not only to the leader but the family and the companies they serve.

Today, I want to leave you with 7 warning signs that the leader in your company or small business may be taking advice from a destructive confidant:

1) The leader is becoming more and more isolated, spending the bulk of his time with the confidant.

2) The leader no longer takes advice from people who have their head on straight.  They are only taking advice from the confidant.

3) The leader is totally unaware of decisions being made around him.  The confidant is shielding her from bad news…only good news is allowed.

4) The leader begins to bring in “yes men and women”…people who only say “yes” to the leader at each and every turn.

5) You have a feeling the confidant is in the relationship only to gain more power for himself (if you notice a confidant gaining power and then moving on to the next “powerful relationship”, this is a red flag indeed.)

6) The leader seems to become more and more reliant on the confidant.  She cannot seem to make a decision without clearing it first with the confidant, is calling the confidant in the middle of the night and always seems to have the confidant around.

7) You get the sense that the confidant is lying to others and cheating to “beat the system” and to gain more power.

If you are someone in an organization, and you notice any of the above signs, it’s time to take action.  If you have a Board of Directors, the Chairman of the Board needs to be alerted (if he/she does not already know it,) and swift action needs to take place to address the situation.   If you believe that there is a psychological situation at hand, contact your Human Resources adviser or director in confidence to discuss the proper steps to take to address the issue.  While this is a challenging situation, it is certainly one that someone needs to address sooner rather than later.

Continue Reading Comments(0) Leadership Articles

Next Blogging Maniac Courses Coming April 5, 2010 from 1-3 p.m.

March 5th, 2010 • By: Bea Fields • Blogging, Events

The Become a Blogging Maniac programs begin on April 5.

The Blogging Jumpstart Program begins on April 5 from 1-3 p.m. Eastern

Learn more details here

The Become a Blogging Maniac Program begins on April 26 from 1-3 p.m. Eastern

Learn more details here

Continue Reading Comments(0) Blogging, Events

J Stands for Justification

February 17th, 2010 • By: Bea Fields • Executive Coaching, Leadership, Leadership Articles, Leadership Coaching

Girl Scout Cookies Have Been My Favorite Since 1977

I just love, love, love the month of February.  Yes…it’s Cupid’s day on February 14, but more importantly…February is the month when my local Girl Scout knocks on my door and delivers not 1 but at least 5 boxes of Girl Scout Cookies, and 3-4 of these boxes are usually green.  Thin Mints!  Ahhh…I honestly cannot think of a better cookie.

So, two nights ago, I proceeded to eat about 6 thin mints.  Then, last night, I think I ate 7.  Of course, I did not eat them all at one time…I kept going back to the frig (Thin Mints are best eaten and drooled over when they are just a bit cold…not frozen but cold) about 3 times…thinking…okay…this is my last one…and then, this is my last one.

Now then…I am not really someone who diets or who really needs to diet, but I really don’t need to sit and eat 7 Girl Scout thin mint cookies.  I am health conscious, so at the end of the next two weeks, after my husband Mike and I have devoured the third box, I will have consumed an additional 1500-2000 calories of chocolate.  And…I have no intentions of resisting my desire to finish off the cookies.

But, as always, last night, after eating my 7th cookie, I started justifying eating the cookie with these thoughts:

1.  I didn’t go back for seconds at dinner, so I can afford the calories.

2. I have had a long day, and I deserve these.

3. Girl Scout cookies are only available one time a year, so it’s okay for now (of course Famous Amos Chocolate Chip cookies are available year round…another one of my favorites).

So, this morning, I woke up early and thought….”Hmmm…why did I justify eating those cookies?”

Because I felt guilty!

I have not met a human to this day who does not try to justify their behaviors.  We have all watched as Presidents tried to justify extra marital affairs, illegal taping and making bad, bad decisions.  We have all sat by and watched financial leaders justify ponzy schemes and why they need gigantic bonuses and luxurious trips.  And, at the end of the day, we have all justified some action in our lives that was not in our best interest or was hurtful to others.

As a leadership coach, I conduct multiple 360 degree feedback reviews every year with executives from multiple industries.  When they get their results back, the excuses, rationalizations and justifications start flying:

“Well…I do that because…”

“I only did that one time, and I did it in order to….”

“That’s just who I am…I can’t change who I am”

And so forth.

So, today, I want to leave you with a few ideas on what triggers justification.  And, as we all know, justification is our ability to show a satisfactory reason or excuse for something done.  Sometimes, we do need to show a reason why a decision was made to clear things up.  Today’s post is about using justification to defend negative behaviors, and when you justify, you are just basically making excuses…which can greatly undermine your creativity.

So, here are some of the situations which can trigger justification:

1. Complexity. It is not uncommon for leaders and decision makers to use very complex approaches when there is a much simpler means to an end.  Then, when the project fails or they are way over budget, a leader or project leader will start making excuses for making something simple complex.  It most always has to do with a lack of communication or a drive for perfectionism.

Solution: Get input from your team on how to make your processes as simple as possible without causing the quality of the finished product to suffer.

2. Destructive conduct. Unless you are dealing with someone who is a sociopath, the majority of people know when they are getting ready to make a decision that can hurt their credibility, other people or the organization.  Destructive conduct can be something as small as playing favorites or being late to an appointment all the way up to lying, stealing and cheating.

Solution: Think through the decision and play the worst case scenario game.  If you make this decision, what could happen?  Talk through your situation with a trusted confidant, and just stop the behavior…don’t make a bad move simply because you think “I am only going to do this one time”…that one time will turn into multiple times.  Just ask Bernie Madoff.

3. Unwillingness to let go of history. I see this one all the time.  I did it x way, because this is the way we did it 5, 7, or 10 years ago.  More often than not, this is the lazy way through making a decision, and you can justify away on this one.  At the end of the day, your followers will view you as “stuck in the past” and not forward in your thinking.

Solution: Let go of the past by pulling together a team of people with fresh ideas, and implement some new ideas…and give yourself the permission to fail.  Start thinking forward, and use history as an opportunity to learn and to add to new ideas…don’t let history continually drive your decision making.  It will bite you in the rear every time.  While I agree that we need to look at history to pull up information that can be helpful, if we are unwilling to shift into new ways of thinking, we won’t make it in the future.

4. Dropping the ball.  People drop the ball every day, and they usually justify this by saying “I just did not have time” or “My son was sick” or “My boss was on my case about something, and it was more urgent.”  At the end of the day, hey…you dropped the ball!  You probably said “yes” when you should have said “no” or you made a decision to do something for yourself rather than addressing what needed to be addressed.

Solution: Don’t bite off more than you can chew, and just start admitting that you dropped the ball by saying “Hey…I dropped the ball.  There is no excuse…I just dropped the ball, and I want to apologize.  What can I do to make this right?”  With this response, you will rebuild trust…it may take some time, but you will start to rebuild the credibility you need to get your followers to listen to you and trust you.  AND….make sure to start being fully committed to follow through.   If you keep dropping the ball,  continuing to admit your shortcoming and apologizing just won’t work any longer.  You will be perceived as someone who cannot be counted on.

So, today…start taking responsibility and drop the justifications!  Your leadership depends on it!

And…tonight, I will eat Girl Scout Cookies, because I want to…no other excuses on that one!

Continue Reading Comments(2) Executive Coaching, Leadership, Leadership Articles, Leadership Coaching

Employee Engagement: How Do You Keep Your Top Employees Excited About Working For Your Company?

January 26th, 2010 • By: Bea Fields • Accountability, Executive Coaching, Innovation, Leadership Articles

The answer: RADICAL INNOVATION!

Radical innovation is going to be a critical component in a leader’s toolkit in the future, and this does not mean that you “try innovation” over a week-end brainstorming retreat. It happens by disrupting the current environment, challenging old assumptions and even turning the culture upside down so that you can move ahead and start being highly competitive.

Each day I meet leaders, and the first question I ask is “On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being super sticky, how stuck are you?” Most people laugh, and they usually respond by saying “I’m a 20 or a 25!” So, when you are stuck, you have to break up the pattern, turn a table upside down and figure out a way to still use the table as an eating surface, roll out of the bed on the other side, shave with the hand you don’t normally use…do something to be disruptive. This is the same for companies.  What would happen if you do the opposite of what you’ve always done? What would you do if you totally destroyed your most profitable item and had to start from scratch? Or, how would an artist, physician or scientist suggest that you change your company?

To keep your company relevant, a culture must foster a sense of psychological safety for employees to not only feel comfortable but be encouraged to challenge the status quo and bring fresh, radical ideas to the table and feel safe that they are not going to be criticized or made to feel silly in the process. Everyone in the company needs to be brought up to speed on the vision and direction of the company, and the leader needs to make a statement that the game is now on!  Everyone is going to be challenged to think radically, innovate, think strategically and that a part of this is to be open to divergent thinking and to allow open debate to get to the root of the issue. You have to be willing to get very uncomfortable…to laugh nervously and feel the sweat bead up on your brow.

Staying ahead will also call leaders to design an environment that includes a diversity of people, a mix of cultures, ages, ethnicities and religions can bring new, more creative ideas to the table. It will also be very important to add a Chief Knowledge Officer to your staff is someone who has their finger on the pulse of what is going on in the world and how your company fits in and how competitive you are to people who are thousands of miles around the world from you.

Tomorrow is already here. Are you relevant, or are you becoming obsolete? Only you can answer that question!

Continue Reading Comments(1) Accountability, Executive Coaching, Innovation, Leadership Articles

I Stands for Innovation: 6 Skills Today’s Leaders Need to Turn Ideas into New Products and Services

January 20th, 2010 • By: Bea Fields • Innovation, Leadership, Leadership Coaching, Leadership Lessons

INNOVATION! You see the word everywhere today, in every business journal and even on billboards.  Everyone is talking innovation these days, because we are all competing to find the next big idea…a way to make our next million!

But what does it take to truly be innovative?  See, innovation to me is a bit different than creativity.  From my perspective, creativity is thinking of new ideas.  The majority of people say that they have creative ideas all day long, but they never do anything with them…they don’t speak about them, write about them or do anything to try to get them into the marketplace.

Innovation is a bit different…it is a process which may or may not start with creative thinking.  From my observations, innovation is much more related to a creative thinker being out in the world, noticing something odd or something new and asking the question “WHY?” and then “HOW?” She then goes and answers the question “WHY?” by coming up with the HOW and then creating something brand new that never existed.  So, the creativity is sparked most often by a question or an observation in life.

Amazon Founder Jeff Bezos

I have never met Amazon Founder, Jeff Bezos (who changed my life!  I am an Amazon junkie!) , but the stories and interviews I have read and heard go something like this.

Bezos is of course one of these computer geniuses who in the early 1990’s noticed that internet usage was increasing by 2300 percent a year.  At this time, the internet was not really being used for commerce (a small bit but not to a great degree)  but he knew it was coming, so he immediately began looking at what type of offering he could make on the internet that would change the way we all do business.

So, Bezos went about reviewing the top 20 mail order businesses and began asking himself several questions such as “What type of business could be conducted more efficiently over the Internet than by traditional mail order Because there were no comprehensive mail order catalogs for books (they would be gigantic), he believed that the internet would be a perfect vehicle to set up an online bookstore.

Bezos began attending book conferences, publishing events and becoming masterful on how to best sell books.  This venture selling books online started in his garage (how many times have we heard this scenario about innovation?  Starting in a garage or a bathroom?), and here we are today…buying everything under the sun on Amazon.  I had to do a little time capsule display a few months ago, and I ordered a bottle of Tang on Amazon, have recently purchased a clock, furniture, and bedding on the Amazon and just saw where I can even buy a lawn mower…they have everything imaginable.

I could probably go on and on about other great innovators like Steve Jobs , whose big motive is to “Put a ding in the universe” or Bill Gates, whose vision was to see every home in the world with a computer running windows (that was going to be possible until Steve Jobs came along and said…I think we can do this better and in a way that is really hot/cool”).  But, the bottom line is that these innovators use certain skills including:

1. Breaking up the status quo. Innovators don’t accept that what is available is the best option.  They take ideas that are already in existence and make them better.

2. Questioning everything.  Innovators invest a great deal of time each day asking questions…asking “Why?” and “How?” and “What’s next?”  By sitting down and writing out some questions that are the unthinkable each day, you can exercise your innovative thinking.

3. Brainstorming. Most innovators are not sitting in their offices alone thinking up ideas.  They get out and talk to people and get ideas.  My husband, Mike and I are building a home right now, and we have a great crew helping us out.  We have hit about 100 snags, and we then go to our crew and say “Okay…we have this issue, let’s talk options…what are all of the possible solutions.”  And, as soon as the best one comes to the surface, we act…but trust me…we are relying on the bright ideas of others to make this home beautiful and truly efficient and effective.

4. Nosy-ness. Most innovators are nosy.  They get into doors and look around.  They open drawers and look at files and scope out retail shops and look around.  They take in everything, and pull it all back in and say…”Hmmm…something is missing, and it is this.”

Duct Tape Has Over 500 Uses. I Believe I Have Seen Jack Bauer Use This Approach On "24"

5. Problem Oriented Passion. The majority of people I have met who are truly innovators started their big idea because they quite frankly got ticked off about something not working in life.  The positive passion and inspiration are great, but the majority of time, something is missing in life or someone needs something to make life easier, and they go out and find a way to make it happen.  Duct Tape was invented to keep moisture out of the ammunition cases (see…a problem was here…moisture was getting into ammunition cases). Because it was waterproof, people referred to the tape as “Duck Tape.”  Of course, now, we use Duct Tape for everything…I saw a show one night on all of the uses for Duct Tape…including a house that had repaired everything in the house with Duct Tape.   You can see some of the uses for duct tape here .

6. Stick-To-Itiveness. I am not 100% sure of the accuracy of this quote, but quote masters say that Thomas  Edison said “I have not failed 1,000 times.  I have successfully discovered 1,000 ways to NOT make a light bulb.”  Whether or not this is an accurate quote, I have studied Edison enough to know that he was a master of sticking to a project and continuously experimenting so that he could get it right.  He did indeed finally discover the magical formula for the light bulb, yet so often, we stop our innovative processes after failing one single time.  If you are going to lead the edge in your industry, you have to be willing to stick to it until you reach your new idea comes to life.

If you are a leader or business owner who is struggling with innovation, I would welcome the opportunity to speak with you to see how I can be of assistance.  Just send an e-mail to bea@beafields.com , and we will set up a time to speak.

Continue Reading Comments(2) Innovation, Leadership, Leadership Coaching, Leadership Lessons

The 5 Step Formula for Improving Accountability

January 14th, 2010 • By: Bea Fields • Business and Management, Decision Making

When is John going to get me that report?”

“What is going on with the marketing report? When are they going to finish that thing?”

“I can’t believe Mary is so late in making those phone calls.”

“Okay…who dropped the ball this time?”

“Hey…that’s not MY job.”

Does this sound familiar? If so, your small business team may be faced with a big challenge with accountability, which results in finger pointing, frustration and broken trust…both with your employees and your customers. Personal responsibility and accountability can put an end to the blame game, saving your business thousands if not millions of dollars by increasing productivity and overall job satisfaction, which results in very satisfied customers. These five basic approaches can support you in increasing accountability, which are simple, yet they require actually building a culture of accountability for your business.

1. Communicate the big picture- Accountability stands a better chance of succeeding if everyone in your business embraces a larger responsibility for the success of the entire company. Spend time talking individually with team members about how his or her project affects the vision and mission of the business. With this communication, people can make wiser decisions from the context of the “big picture” rather than from the perspective of what may seem to be a detailed and boring task.

2. State clear expectations- If one person on your team does not meet your expectations, the entire team can fail. It is important from the very beginning of any new project to state the expectations clearly and repeat them over and over again until your team really “gets it.” These expectations need to be crystal clear, including dates, who is responsible for what, the details of the task and how you want the finished product delivered. If your expectations are fuzzy or confusing in any way, your team can break down, and the fine and very important details can fall through the cracks.

3. Accountability work groups-One of the best ways to achieve accountability is to develop shared accountability among team members. Accountability within the team can be accomplished by what Morris R. Shechtman calls “accountability groups,” groups which give team members the permission to speak and listen in a way which is frank and open. This accountability group can include 2-5 people and can then serve as a small unit of people working together to confide in with struggles, weaknesses and insecurities. They can then find creative strategies to work together in the direction of the growth the team intends to achieve.

4. Move to action-In order for accountability to work, people have to know that failure of completion will come with certain consequences, including written warnings, loss of a bonus or extra hours served on a week-end to complete the project on the table. Without consequences, your employees won’t take you seriously. They will think that they can use blame, justification and rationalization as a way to deviate from being responsible, because you have not followed through on what you said you will do if the tasks are not achieved.

5. Reward and recognition program-Employees need to know in a tangible way their efforts are indeed driving the company forward, and it is important for them to share in the fruits of their hard work. The offer of increased pay and benefits (vacations, time off and other perks) can keep accountability and morale high and can motivate employees to continue to strive for high levels of performance.

Continue Reading Comments(0) Business and Management, Decision Making

Do You Want Your Bank to Be Blogging?

January 12th, 2010 • By: Bea Fields • Blogging, News

Blogging for Bankers is conducting a survey on the impact the presence of a blog may (or may not) have on the bank selection process. We have created short surveys (based on age range) that comprise of two simple questions and should not take any longer than 5 minutes to complete.

To participate, please click the link below to the survey and choose the survey which represents your age range and respond to the questions. Your responses are completely anonymous and the survey will remain open through the end of March. To ensure survey integrity, we ask that you only complete the survey once.

We look forward to your input and thank you for taking time to share your thoughts with us.

http://bloggingforbankers.com/survey.html

Continue Reading Comments(0) Blogging, News

Become a Blogging Maniac Coming Again on January 11 at 1:00

January 7th, 2010 • By: Bea Fields • Events

As a reminder, Become a Blogging Maniac will start up again on January 11 at 1:00 p.m.

For full details, visit Become a  Blogging Maniac .

Continue Reading Comments(0) Events
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